Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Done. (Settle down!)

IT'S OVER! I took my last final this morning. It was beautiful. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if it had been proctored by the woman who proctored our Economics exam.

(To give you a preview of where this is going, there's a reason why proctor and proctologist begin the same way: they're both pains in the ass.)

This woman - who, I might add, had the most spectacularly hideous gold spectacles I've ever seen in my life - got into an argument with one of my classmates over whether she'd given him enough blue books for the test. We needed three, and right before telling us we could begin, she asked whether everyone had enough.

My classmate raised his hand. "You only gave me one."

"Impossible," she said curtly.

The room stopped, curiosity piqued. Impossible? Really?

"Well, I only have one," he said, slightly befuddled.

"That's impossible."

A few of us laughed.

"Settle down!" she said, as if we were middle schoolers. "Everyone settle down!"

Emboldened, my classmate asked, "Can I have my blue books now?"

Her eyes narrowed behind her remarkable glasses. After a moment, apparently having failed to think of a single valid reason why someone would steal two blue books, she walked up the aisle and slapped them onto his desk.

"Alright people, settle down. I said settle down!" At this point, my mouth was literally hanging open. "You may begin."


AS I PUSHED THE SUBMIT button to finish my exam today, I said a silent goodbye to that woman, who basically summed up my entire first semester: absurdly hideous, emotionally trying, and yet somehow, in retrospect, worth the pain.

Still, glad it's over.

Teen Girl Squad #4

"I love you too, Brett."

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