Senior skip day of shame

[C’s bedroom, 8:15 AM. Sunlight filters through venetian blinds, casting horizontal stripes of light across the floor. C is asleep in his bed. K stumbles into the room.]

K: Okay, two things.

C: [startled awake] Ugh... Good morning. [props himself up on his elbows]

K: First, I don't think I can go into work today - I made out with a coworker.

C: [bursts out laughing] I was wondering where you were last night! What did you do? Were you drunk?

K: I'm still drunk. I woke up this morning in my bed, nude, and found my clothes scattered all over the living room.

C: Wow, that's a hot make out.

K: Yeah. I don't know how I can face him today.

C: I bet. [He nods. They are silent, contemplating her situation.] So what's the second thing?

K: What?

C: You said there were two things.

K: Oh. Number two, your dildo is in the shower again.

My friends, ladies and gentleman! Initials have been changed to protect the guilty.

Shop Boyz - Party Like a Rock Star
"On a money makin mission/but I party like a rockstar"