Welcome to their home.

FOUR FRIENDS STARTED A BLOG recently and it's pretty great. Three of the four contributors live together, which makes for some fun posts about the things you only learn about people when in very close quarters. Given that there are multiple contributors, the blog has a scattershot quality to it, but it's fun because you can get to know each of them.

A few weeks back, one of the guys wrote about a one night stand that turned into a two day affair; it's wonderful, particularly his discussion of the morning after that became the whole next day and night. It has a kind of honesty that gets you, like at the end when he writes:

He gets up and walks across the room and hugs me. This is a not the weak, pacify-your-sadness hug that I've felt before. Nor is it the lame generic sympathy hug. He wraps all of himself around me, and we fold into each other on the modern green angular sofa. This is the hug that seems to say, "I have room for you". It's more connection than intimacy, but feels amazing in a way that I hadn't realized I missed until now.

Check out the post at Fuzzy Mimosa.

And here's the absolutely brilliant Brenda Dickson parody that gave the blog its name. If you haven't seen this, sit down and watch. It's bizarre and perfect.

Brenda Dickson - Welcome to My Home

"As long as I don't bleed or cry I'll do it."

Discovering my little corner of the internet

AND NOW IT'S TIME for a little segment I like to call "Who are you and please get out of my house."

Top 6 Favorite Search Phrases That Inexplicably Led People Here

1. people that look like gooses
2. people with height dont look as fat
3. how to get a job at goldman
4. proctologist test
5. that's right jesus is lord
6. brian boitano

Amazing.

Getta getta a dissaway?

AMONG THE MANY WORDS of widsom that my father has spoken over the years, "You know you know but you don't know" is surely one of my favorites. It's either entirely nonsensical, or it's a brilliant reduction of Faith. Given, however, that it was generally muttered when one of us kids did something moronic, I'm going to lean towards the second.

Another winner, "Boys are like streetcars: when one passes you by, there's another coming around the bend," has held me in good stead as well, perhaps because it leads to the obvious corrollary that boys are easy to flag down and ride.

Perhaps my favorite, however, is the old Wizzle family addage, "Better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're an idiot than open it and prove them right." Poor Britney Spears needed this advice, and she needed it bad. My girl released a demo track full of actual gibberish.

The beat is kind of hot, but what is happening here? Is the track waiting on a songwriter? Maybe it's some sort of commentary on the vacuous nature of most pop music. Like, let's just give up on lyrics entirely, put on some ripped fishnet stockings, bare our navels, hump around a stripper pole, and sell ten million copies on iTunes.

Leave it to some poor drag queen to choreograph a "routine" to this mess. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Miss Britney Houston.

Britney Houston - "DFA Demo (by Britney Spears)"

"He hit my heart/And he hit me hard."

This drag queen also goes by Lil Britney, and she did an amazing video remix of Lil Mama's "Lip Gloss."

Lil Britney - "Lip Gloss (by Lil Mama)"

But where's the bubblemaker this time?

If that's true, then why do my ears hurt

K: OMG
K: I can't even watch two seconds
B: It's too brilliant. It's too brilliant.
B: It's like staring into the sun.

Tay Zonday - "Never Gonna Give You Up"
"Your voice is like thunder."

Hook me up with some high quality footwear, hokie!

MY LITTLE BROTHER, who's graduating from high school next week, wears these moccasins all the time, including out and about in public. It's one of the things that makes him cool, because if you think about it, it takes some serious balls to wear slippers out in public, much less to an urban public high school.

This winter, he had the following exchange.

"Yo! Where'd you get those kicks?"

"Um... L.L. Bean?"

White people!

Just 2 Guys

"Spinach dip, real hot chicks."

While I'm talking about my brother, he and a couple of his friends formed a fake rap group called The Wang Gang. Spectacular. Unfortunately, they can't post any of the videos to the Tube because one of the members is a potential future Olympian (for real) with potential future real endorsement deals. Wah wah.

But this should give you some idea of what they're all about.

Bing Bong Brothers

"You guys..."

I Love Mo Rocca

DEAR MO ROCCA, where have you been? Ah, that's right. You're in a musical now on Broadway. Well, good for you, I suppose. But bad for us, though. VH1 and my poor and bitter soul miss you.

Please note Mr. Rocca's reaction when the hipster compliment's The Sound of Music's Nazi backdrop. Classic.

Mo Rocca Takes on Indie Rock Kids

While visions of nazi's danced in their heads.

French and Saunders Do America

WHAT DO YOU DO when you've already created a pop culture touchstone? If you're Jennifer Saunder, you put down that last "Absolutely Fabulous" martini and start a show called "French and Saunders." It's British and hasn't crossed the pond, but M recently had linked me to this clip, and it's phenomenal.

"Come Stateside, ladies," I thought. "I beg you."

Jodie and Jordan Peel a Potato

"You lucky bitch."

And then I found this clip and I realized why they haven't crossed the pond. They already know America so well - what would be the point?

Jill and Jo's American Retirement

"There's only one size here... BIG!"

Dan Deacon - "Crystal Cat"

THE INTERNETS RIGHT NOW are all about Dan Deacon, an electronic artist from Baltimore. Deacon is known for his bat crazy live performances, and for his recently released album, Spiderman of the Rings. The music is propulsive and frenetic, with references to Devo and Talking Heads. The video is unsafe for even the mildest of epileptics, and it makes you wish you were wearing 3-D glasses, not only because it would blow your mind, but because you get the impression that all the cool kids should be wearing them. And a full-body tiger costume.

Don't everyone go for Deacon's buddha belly all at once. I'm looking at you, J.

Dan Deacon - "Crystal Cat"

"Get your dance dance on."

What the eff, David Blaine?

IMAGINE PUNK'D, but with David Blaine, and David Blaine's creepy demon eyes staring directly into your soul.

(Thanks A!)


"Stop putting orange soda in our mouths!"

Planet Unicorn, Episode Three

THE LATEST PLANET UNICORN episode just popped up, and I know you're excited to see it.

Also, watch in amazement as I use my newfound blogger skills and assist you watching Episodes 1 and 2. <-- Look at that hyperlink, man!

Episode 3

"It's fun!" "I like to have fun!"

In which I reveal my fervently held secret wish

MY FRIEND K sent this to me. She may have been implying that my friends and I are like the unicorns -- the conversations in the video are disconcertingly similar to ones I've had at Halo.

Episode 1

"We've got to do something." "That sounds dangerous."

Episode 2

"I don't like your shoes."

When I was a little boy, I had a My Little Pony. But, I mean, I had the boy My Little Pony with the blue mane and tail, so it was totally fierce. I mean butch. I mean masculine. I mean, I had no male friends.

In which I reveal how I attract and retain boyfriends

From www.foundmag.com

Jackie and Debra

IN WHICH DEBRA explains why she and Jackie are no longer BFs.



Please note Debra's puppy purse.

Apparently not that interesting

I JUST GOT a fortune cookie that said this:

"In order to discover who you are, first learn who everybody else is. You're what's left."

What the fuck?