TYPICAL BEDROOM TALK FALLS into one of three categories.
1) The Moan, The Groan: Your standard fall back options. Includes your "ooo"s and "oooh"s with an occasional "oh yeah" for good measure.
2) The Declarative Demand: A bit more advanced than The Moan, The Groan, these are suggestions to your partner to keep doing whatever they're doing, but in a slightly modified manner. Includes your "faster"s and "harder"s.
3) The Informative Outburst: More advanced still, these are ways of informing your partner either of what you are doing, or what you'd like to be doing. At its most basic, includes your "I'm going to [blank] your [blank] right now" and your "Oh man, I'm [blank]ing your [blank]."
With each step up the ladder, you are taking a bigger risk, with the potential for greater rewards. The flip side, however, is that your greater risk means a greater chance of utter failure. Take, for instance, this story my friend R told me recently.
"So, my friend and this guy are going at it. I mean, really going at it. They're getting sweaty and all hot," she says.
"Nice," I say.
"Yeah, nice," she says. "The thing is, he's talks in bed, which she's not that into."
I shake my head. "It's a shame."
"It's just that he has a tendency to say the wrong thing. Like, they're both getting pretty close when he looks her in the eye and says, straight faced, 'I'm gonna buy you a red dress! I'm gonna buy you a nice steak!'"
"What'd she say? 'Ooo baby, I like it raw?"
Daft Hands - "Faster, Harder, Better, Stronger"
Work it harder make it better.
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